Instantly Forgotten so… Forgiven I Guess

I’ve had wrong done to me, at least so others tell me. I realize it’s pretty shitty to not return money owed or breakup by un-invitation… it just makes me feel a bit bad about myself at the moment, surprised perhaps, but I don’t even get mad. It’s forgotten, in the past. I’m driven to maintain equilibrium; I don’t want to have hard feelings with anyone.

Recently, I had someone lash out at me in a way I’d never experienced. I believe she greatly overreacted but still my first instinct was to identify what I’d done wrong and what I could do to make it better. I couldn’t make it better, though; she wanted to be mad at me and she wants to stay mad at me. I think strong emotions drive her.

My boyfriend has helped me express some anger sometimes. It feels unnatural, but it actually helps move on for real. By ignoring incidents, I’m forcing forgetting which makes forgiveness superficial on some level. It doesn’t help to hold a grudge, but it’s healthy to experience and express feelings and let go to move forward, together or not.

Inspired by the DailyPost

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