I find a lot of things irritating, light and noise especially, but nothing irks me more than people being loud or invasive or just boring to me. I recognize my tendency to be annoyed correlates with my mood and energy. Plus, everyone has a right to be themselves as long as it doesn’t hurt others (beyond giving me a headache, I guess). Clearly, these other people are not to blame and need not change. But that doesn’t mean I need to change either.
I generally take on all responsibility. If I get in a disagreement, I’ve done something wrong. If my team is unsuccessful, I’ve done something wrong. If I get a pimple, I’ve done something wrong. And yet I’m learning to stop that nonsense. There are numerous contributing factors; usually I play a role but others do too. It’s not about blame, either.
One of my favourite things about my boyfriend is we can joke together about “hating people” and understand that we’re not being serious nor are we making it up. Many people are annoying much of the time, at least to me, and apparently to him as well.
I’m allowed to leave a party if I’m not having a good time. I’m allowed to cross to the other side of the street if there’s a big slow group ahead of me. I’m allowed to plan get togethers with people who make me feel good and without people who make me feel irritated. I can accept these feelings and preferences and not force unnatural behaviour just so others are more comfortable. I deserve to be comfortable too.
And that is why I hate people and it’s ok.