Change your story, change your life

Most of what we experience and expect is coloured and shaped by the stories we tell ourselves. If your manager asks you a question, she’s micromanaging. If you feel sad, the situation must be sad. If people are laughing, they’re laughing at you. If your family is overweight, being overweight is your destiny. If a friend gives you a look, he’s annoyed by you. 

There is no way to know for sure unless you ask – and trust the answer – but this may only be helpful with friends. A more practical approach is to simply notice when you might be making an assumption, when you’re thinking something subjective, not based on facts, so you can stop, slow down, and analyze realistically – rather than becoming the querulous colleague people avoid at work.

Attention: Mindful Meditation FTW

A common place to find me is on my computer in front of TV. My boyfriend is often playing a video game in front of TV. Add the third distraction of a cell phone, and you have my typical state of divided attention.

When I did the free week of Headspace, I actually found improved ability to sit calmly and focus on the guided meditation. It’s a good place to start. Once you have that skill, you can bring mindful meditation to walking, yoga, and other relaxing activities. Some people find running meditative – I haven’t gotten there. 

Introvert Visibility at Work

Many managers and vice presidents I’ve worked with want their communication loud and fast. One VP only reads subject lines, not the body of emails. As a conscientious introvert, I am not naturally or comfortably loud or fast. I am thoughtful and reserved.

I’m glad I’m thoughtful and reserved. I listen and take my time to process thoroughly. I’m less happy about being misunderstood and unheard by extroverts. Also disappointing is when fellow introverts seek approval by “fixing” their personality, i.e. acting extremely extroverted.

Unless I can change the way things work now, though, it’s up to me to adapt to the environment. There are some circumstances when introverts are better off playing up our extrovert sides. Sometimes we all do well to go outside our comfort zones.

Make New Habits Stick

Change is essential for personal fulfillment and business success. If you aren’t changing, you’re falling behind. Yet change usually feels unnatural and rarely goes smoothly, if not backfire. 

To change something meaningful, it usually comes down to simple habit changes – though their simplicity should not be mistaken for ease. Eating less to lose weight seems simple enough until you try it unprepared – not to mention sticking to the new habit. Still, the profound impacts of losing weight come from small everyday decisions. 

In Industry Week, David Fields presents the CUBEST acronym for making change stick: