There was a time I couldn’t stop feeling unbearably sorry for other people, who likely cared a whole lot less about the situation. Just witnessing a rude remark to a bus driver made my heart go out to the driver. In school or work, I downplayed my achievements because I didn’t want to make others discount their own achievements. Peace and harmony are much stronger drivers, for me, than competition and pride.
I am the opposite of confrontational. When asked in interviews to “tell about a time” when I dealt with conflict, I strained to reach for some example because I honestly hadn’t been in a clear conflict until two years ago. I was certain the issue was cultural and personality-based since we were very different in those respects. She was quite confrontational. She made a comment about me in a meeting, after which many people approached me to say her behaviour was inappropriate. So, I pulled her aside and basically explained, “I think we have a communication problem, let’s figure out a solution.” Her response: “I don’t have a problem; you have a problem.” Continue reading
You know when two of your friends meet each other and you feel responsible for them liking one another? Or is that just me?
Last night, I met up with friends for dinner at 7:30. The fifth friend arrived at 8:30, inebriated. He then proceeded to make very loud statements with grandiose hand gestures. He also decided to keep going with whisky and beer. Leaving the restaurant, he was literally fall-down drunk.
Let’s be honest – I’m not the most current person in terms of social awareness. I really respect knowledge and opinions of others, though, and so to engage in discussion – or debate – I make sure to at least check headlines every day.
The best approach is a wide variety of sources, but I generally stick to what I like:
- The BBC app on my phone to refresh before I get on the subway and catch up while I wait for my stop.
- The New Yorker for well-written articles from a personal perspective. For instance, I just read Gay, Jewish, Mentally Ill, and a Sponsor of Gypsies in Romania.
- The Atlantic for more excellent writing.
- The CBC for local news and the Canadian perspective.
- Google News alerts for topics that interest me. You don’t want to miss something like this if you live in Toronto.
Ask someone who they are without mentioning their job, their things, their accomplishments, their failures, their family, and you’ll likely get their name and that’s about it. What is left under all those layers?
What really makes us who we are is our values, personality, and behaviour. So if you’re on a “finding yourself” mission like me, here are some free online tools to help with your search:
- The IPIP-NEO Assessment is a well-validated, 120-item personality test Harvard Business Review recommends.
- Personal Values Assessment is 5 minutes and maps your values on a spectrum from least helpful to most fulfilling.
- Big Five Personality Test is 50 questions to estimate your Big-Five Factor Markers, one of the most widely used personality assessments.
- You Just Get Me Personality Feedback is 40 questions for an insightful review, then allows others to guess your personality and compare it to how you see yourself.
- Enneagram Type Indicator is 10 minutes to find your one of nine personality types.